Monday, September 7, 2009
I'm still working on non-attachment. Today I found myself wondering how my special someone feels about me, hoping that he cares for me the way I care for him. While it's normal to feel that way it's also a sure sign that I'm attached to a specific outcome (i.e., I want him to feel the same way about me that I feel about him). Attachment to a specific outcome inevitably leads to disappointment if the desired outcome does not come to fruition. I must remind myself again that true love means loving someone for who they are, not for how they make me feel. True love does not mean giving someone affection, attention, acceptance, appreciation, and/or allowing (the five A's) because I want that person to give me love in return. That's selfish love -- it revolves around me and is contingent on how the other person can meet my needs. True love means loving someone no matter how that person feels about me. True love means focusing on the other person's needs, not on my own. The focus is not on oneself and one's own needs because true love transcends the self and is bigger and purer than any one individual person. I'm learning, but I still have a long way to go.