Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Using both hands

I recently read a book by David Richo entitled, "The Five Things We Cannot Change and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them."  In the book he suggests a spiritual practice in which we hold both hands out palms upward and imagine them holding "opposites."  For example, I feel fear, which I hold in one hand, and I go forward and do whatever it is I'm afraid to do, which I hold in the other.  I hold my desire for things to be a particular way in one hand and I hold the reality that things aren't the way I want them to be in the other hand.  I hold an unpleasant situation in one hand and acceptance of that situation in the other. 

I think this practice is one that promotes acceptance.  It discourages an "either/or" mentality (e.g., "Things must be this way or I simply can't tolerate it") and promotes a "both/and" mentality (e.g.., "I don't like the way things are and I accept that this is just the way it is right now.  What can I do in light of this reality?")  We create more suffering for ourselves by insisting that things be a certain way.  I've been doing this recently in my romantic relationship and it's been causing an overwhelming amount of stress.  Today, I'm holding out both hands...

1 comment:

  1. Relationships have an ebb and flow going from closeness to distance. I hope that you work things out. I stumbled upon your journal by accident. Hope you don't mind if I follow along on your journey.

    My journal is about the love I have for my family and friends.



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