Monday, November 9, 2009

Still confused...

If things could be the way I wanted them in a relationship I'd want to be with someone I could talk to.  I'd want to be with someone who cares how I feel and what I think and who asks me to share my thoughts and feelings with him.  I'd want to be with someone who wants to spend time with me, someone who  makes me a priority in his life.

I struggle with whether I'm selling myself short because I'm not getting these things or if I'm being patient with my current relationship and letting things unfold.  Am I learning to be satisifed with the way things are or am I depriving myself of opportunities to have what I want?  How long do I let things unfold?  How long do I stick around to see if the relationship will develop into something more serious?  Maybe I'm fooling myself -- but how do I know?


  1. Perhaps the answer to this question is imposible to know. What it´s totally true is that you have to live the moment and don´t spoil things thinking if they could have been better other way (I think, but men aren´t too good giving advices, ha, ha).
    Greetings from Spain.

  2. Hi Melody,

    I know these questions well. I've reflected on them many times in past relationships. I wish I had some answers for you, but I really have no idea. At some point, if you stay with the questions, maybe it will come to you. The things you want are not unreasonable at all, but sometimes what is actually happening isn't clearly matching up. I guess the question is if the relationship isn't what you want because you're missing it, or if it actually isn't what you want. I remember my first long term relationship - I knew after about a year that it wasn't right for me, and then stuck around for another three years out of fear of not having someone. At the same time, I've been really quick to cut off other relationships, which may have been more in line with what I wanted, but I didn't have the patience to see if things would develop more. My approach now is to really try to pay attention, and then decide based on what seems to actually be happening. I also have dropped the idea of needing a partner that has "everything" on my "checklist." This doesn't mean I want to settle, but it definitely means that I'm not chasing after Ms. Perfect anymore.

  3. They might not have answers... or are afraid to tell you, but I do... and I'm not!

    You're settling for less, period! You answered your own questions, simply by writing this. NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE... LIFE'S TOO SHORT!

    Yep, easier said than done, but happiness from the core is worth it. You're not as happy as you could be... or definitely as you want to be... simple as that.

    Not telling you what to do, but we definitely deserve more! We're not being "unfair" to expect to be treated like kings / queens. If she doesn't treat me that way... bye bye. If I don't treat her like that, I expect her to say bye bye. We've actually had that exact conversation.

    Good luck. Don't settle! You're too young ;-)


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