Suffering is caused by refusing to accept the reality of the present moment. Suffering is greatly reduced (or even eliminated) by accepting the reality of a situation instead of engaging in an internal struggle against it.
I recently read an article entitled "Stages of Acceptance" found at http://www.ultimatehealthliving.com/. The article talks about how to go about accepting what is in the present moment and suggests the following three stage process:
1. Be Present: Allow yourself to experience whatever feelings you are having about the situation without judging them as good or bad. Tune into your body and to where in your body you are experiencing your emotions. (e.g., tension in your chest, emptiness in your stomach, tightness of muscles in arms or legs, etc.)
2. Conscious Doing: Identify what needs to be done and accept that this is what you need to do. Don't spend your time thinking, "Why do I have to do this? I don't want to do this. I shouldn't have to do this." These types of thoughts cause suffering.
3. Reflection: After the event is over spend some time reflecting on your experience. Meditate or journal about your experience. Is there any lesson you can take from it? Were you able to work through your feelings about the situation? If not, these unresolved negative emotions are likely to resurface during future difficult situations. When we deal with our negative emotions as they occur we don't carry them with us into future situations.