Sunday, July 10, 2011

Present versus Future

I am only unhappy when I think of where I want to be instead of where I am.  I am only dissatisfied when I consider my current circumstances vis-a-vis my IDEAL circumstances.  My life is good and I'm grateful, especially when I consider all of the people in this country who have been hit hard by the recession or who have lost all of their worldly possessions due to fire, flooding, or tornadoes.  I have so many wonderful things in my life.  I  have a career that I find meaningful and rewarding and that provides me with enough money to live comfortably.  I have a cute little house in a quiet neighborhood.  I have a kind-hearted husband who loves me.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to develop a relationship with my beautiful stepdaughter.  I have an absolutely extraordinary family that I love beyond words.  I have a few very close friends who are loyal and trustworthy.  What more could I possibly want?

When I approach life with this mindset I am completely content.

Ah, but there's always a BUT.  You see, my husband - like so many others in this economy - has been struggling to find work for well over a year now.  He recently started working for a friend who owns his own business.  It doesn't pay very much and it doesn't offer any benefits but at least he's earning some money.  He's been able to give me some money to help out, which I put directly into my savings account (I always plan for the future).  One of the reasons he took the job with his friend instead of accepting another job with a temp agency that paid the same amount was because the job with his friend had flexible work hours.  He'd have some down time at work to search and apply for jobs; he would then have the flexibility to leave work during the day to go to job interviews.

The problem is, the interviews never came.  Periodically, I email him jobs I think would be a good fit for him; he says he applies for all of them but he either doesn't hear back or he gets rejection emails.  It's really discouraging.  I think of all the things we've talked about for our future - getting a bigger house, having a child, going on family vacations - and wonder if they'll ever happen.  What if he doesn't find a good job any time soon?  Does that mean I should forget about wanting a bigger house and a kid?

I start feeling depressed whenever I think about it.  So my dilemma is this: Do I live my life completely in the present and just let the future take care of itself?  If so, HOW do I do that?  I've always been a forward-looking person.  I find it very motivating to have things to work towards (and to look forward to).  Yet, if I don't like what I see when I look towards the future, maybe it's best to stop looking there.


  1. I think somehow adapting is the answer if at all possible.

    It took my son about a year after he left a job went back to college for a second degree in his field to get an acceptable position with benefits.(applications took 6-8 months to process) There was as you say lots of personally unsatisfactory part time work without health coverage in between. It's just a sigh of the times.

    Hope things work out for you both :)

  2. During very stressful times it is best to live day to day and in the present. You are goal oriented so it is STILL appropriate to revisit your goals.

    The economy is difficult. Networking makes a lot of sense.

    Hang in there.


  3. The way you do it, is do love the person you are now, because every one of those worries involves some dissatisfaction with what is going on right now.
    I am disabled and have little or no jobs, and I volunteer and help people, like driving Buddhists nuns. If I stop and worry about my ideal future, with no retirement I would freeze, but I can honestly say I am happier than I have ever been. I am rich with love from family, my partner, and a few others...I am finally relaxed. And with this relaxation comes an appreciation for everything including the knowledge that I am not my body.

  4. Thanks for all the feedback and support!


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