Faith

Sometimes I feel and connect deeply with the belief that I can be happy no matter what is going on in my life externally.  During these times I am at peace.  I find joy in little things.  I am hopeful about the future.  I do not get upset when something stressful or unexpected takes place.  I accept reality as it is and I am confident in my ability to handle what happens.  These are good times, especially because I have suffered from periods of depression since adolescence and for years I longed to feel at peace with myself and the world.

Unfortunately, mood disorders appear on every branch of my family tree.  Even for those who were never formally diagnosed with a mood disorder there are antecdotal stories about each person's life that suggest some sort of disturbance of mood.  I have come to accept that I inherited a genetic predisposition to depression.  I have also accepted that there will most likely be times throughout my life when depression threatens to rear its ugly head.

So sometimes I feel and connect deeply with the belief that I can be happy no matter what happens in my life.  These are good times.  There are also times when I neither feel nor connect with this belief.  These times are difficult.  Sometimes I feel distressed.  Sometimes I feel empty.  Often I don't feel like doing anything at all.  These are times when faith becomes important.

Faith means believing in something when you have no proof of its existence.  For me, it means believing that I can be happy no matter what even when I don't feel that way.  It means knowing that my life has a purpose even when I can't remember what it is.  It means trusting that bad feelings pass and that things always get better. 

Faith is how I deal with sadness.  It's how I get through bad days.  I shared this because I think sometimes we all need a reminder that hard times, like everything else in life, don't last forever.